Buffalo Bills Season Recap

Ah yes, a tradition unlike any other: Re-caping the Buffalo Bills season in December. While this season was trending in the right direction, below-average quarterback play has yet again been the crux to the reason as to why this team can not get over the hump and into the playoffs.


Offense

Obviously the most pressing issue this off season will be finding a new QB. Kyle Orton's ride off into the sunset (read: nearest liquor store) came seemingly out of no where, although as someone noted he took the gameball with him after he left the field at Gillette Stadium. So that being said it seems as if he knew he was retiring before the game and kind of putting the Bills in a shitty situation by not letting them know before the game. The team could have thrown EJ out there to see what he's got in a yet another meaningless Week 17 game.

(Stick to mid-level college ball, Nate)

The Bills have the worst offensive coordinator in the league. I have voiced my approval rating of Nate Hackett Here. So there is not much more to be said, as Hackett continued to be overwhelmed by the position all year. Throwing nearly 60 times a game with Kyle Orton should never happen.

CJ Spiller continues to fade into being a role player. We've seen CJ explode a couple years ago and since then injury and being put into poor situations have hindered his growth as a player. The offensive line also didn't give him much room to run, take notes of what Dallas has done.

Boobie D is still awesome.

Sammy will be a true number 1 wide receiver. 18 yards short of 1,000 yards receiving with Kyle Orton as your quarterback. Let that sink in. While he can certainly improve, the OC also needs to figure out how to get him the ball in space.

Robert Woods showed flashes of being a star in this league. He plays with fire and just needs to learn how to be more consistent from game to game. Awesome guy to have on a competitive team like this.


Defense

This defense deserves to be in the playoffs. While I still think that the secondary needs to improve, the front 7 proved that they are among the best in the NFL.

I think that Jerry Hughes earned himself a pay-day and that it should be the Bills who pony up an offer to get him to stay. Although I see where people are worried about how hungry a player like that will be after they are paid - with little guaranteed money and a team like Buffalo who is young and hungry, I don't see this being much of a problem.

Kiko coming back is a huge asset for this already stout defense, but it also brings into question as to where Brandon Spikes will fit going forward. I think you need to re-sign a proven vet like Spikes who has played on big stages his entire career - college and pro - who doesn't require a huge cap hit to keep.


Special Teams

Dan Carpenter is good.

Having a kick off specialist in 2014 is ridiculous.

Colton Schmidt... Not terrible.

Marcus Thigpen is a huge upgrade and earned himself a spot on a team in the future as a kick return specialist.

If you're looking for an in-depth special teams recap you've come to the wrong place.


The year was fun, the highs were high, the lows were low. But at least there were highs. That's a start... right?

Don't Worry Sabres Fans... Pat Kaleta Is Back And He's Punching Himself In The Head

Well... that's about right. That's how you strike feat into your opponent! That's how you win a fight! All about intangibles.

In all seriousness Kaleta brings a toughness to the team that you need when you're trying to show these young guys what it takes to win in the NHL. Now lets just hope he can stay healthy.



UPDATE:

Unreal. 5 minutes after I post this Kaleta goes crashing into the boards and leaves the game after grabbing his right leg. Hope he gets better soon.

Zemgus Girgensons Has 1.1 Million All-Star Votes.. Latvia Stand Up!

Link to ESPN article - Latvia is in love with Buffalo Sabres forward Zemgus Girgensons, who remains the runaway leader in the NHL All-Star Game fan vote. The second-year player had nearly 1.1 million votes Tuesday. That's nearly double the total of each of the next two forwards: Chicago's Patrick Kane (586,310) and Jonathan Toews (573,198). Girgensons' total is more than half the 2 million population of his native Latvia, where the NHL says he's attracted more than 80 percent of his votes.


THE FREIGHT TRAIN! Living life at the top of the NHL all-star voting. Unreal that Latvia literally has nothing better to do than vote for the NHL all-star game but who the hell am I to complain?

CYA Patty Kane - Buffalo has a new hockey player in town.... and his name has like 30 letters and is almost impossible to pronounce the first time you see it.

For real though Girgensons has been the catalyst behind the Sabres 10-4 record after that awful start. 9G/8A/+3 on the season on a team that is as young as Buffalo is an incredible start. You can take those number and multiply them if he's on a number of other teams in the league. Not to mention he scores almost every shoot-out (ignore yesterday's result). Look out for the Freight Train in the coming years to put an absolute beating on the league.

To the fans out there who are pissed about this mini win-streak and want the team to lose for McDavid:
1. Winning the lottery doesn't guarantee anything (look at how many last-place teams have won the lottery in the past).
2. As I've said before, you don't just turn the effort on and off in this league.
3. The reality is that the Sabres have a handful of very, very talented players on the team right now.
4. The team lost almost every game in February/March of last year. Relax. Wait for the season to play out and enjoy these wins.

The Packers Have Still Never Won In Buffalo

So you're sayin' there's a chance?! 

Game was unbelievable. I really don't believe what I just watched. Aaron Rodgers looking like he was pedestrian. From the start of the game he wasn't on the same page with his receivers. Not feeling the pressure and getting stripped to end the game. Just a really weird and under whelming performance from the best QB in the NFL.

And he was still the better QB on the field.

I know that Orton is a game manager and is absolutely the best QB on the team. But - as has been the case for the past 15 years - the Bills need to find their future QB. If I want to blackout with someone on Friday, we got ourselves a first ballot hall-of-famer. But the team needs to address this somehow in the off-season. 

Freddy Jackson still looks like he's 21 when he's on the field. Diesel.

Jordy Nelson dropping a pass that Jordy Nelson has never dropped was like seeing a ghost. Unreal game defining moment. 

The Bills' defense deserves to be in the playoffs. Top 3 no questions asked. Rodgers threw 3 interceptions all year and the Bills picked him off twice today.

Sad packers fans make me happy. Give me all of those tears please.

FEED ME THE MOTHER FUCKIN' RAIDERS!

Buffalo Jills Mad That They Were Treated Like The Pieces of Meat They Signed Up To Be

(4, 1, 3, 2)

Link to NY Times Article

Alyssa cannot recall the precise moment she realized her dream gig as a Buffalo Bills cheerleader had turned into a nightmare. Each week held so many indignities. Supervisors ordered the cheerleaders, known as the Buffalo Jills, to warm up in a frigid, grubby stadium storeroom that smelled of gasoline. They demanded that cheerleaders pay $650 for uniforms. They told the cheerleaders to do jumping jacks to see if flesh jiggled. The Jills were required to attend a golf tournament for sponsors. The high rollers paid cash — “Flips for Tips” — to watch bikini-clad cheerleaders do back flips. Afterward, the men placed bids on which women would ride around in their golf carts.

Woah woah woah. So let me get this straight. You signed up to wear minimal clothes in Buffalo, NY in front of 60,000 people and now you're mad that you were treated like a piece of meat? Like a circus animal or some kind of sideshow?

NEWSFLASH: THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE.

Your only job is to entertain the old, horny, creepy men that are at a football game and can't focus on the Bills missing the playoffs for the 15th year in a row.

And then these idiots complaining about not being paid for all of these appearances? How many times do you need to show up and not get paid before you realize what's going on? Being a Buffalo Jill is not the same as being a Buffalo Bill. No one cares about you. No one would ever pay to see you unless you're working at Sundowners. You're just like the little kid that runs out and grabs the tee after the kickoff, except they're athletic. You can be replaced at the drop of a hat and no one will notice. NO ONE.

This was my favorite part:
"Alyssa recalled that team managers herded the winning cheerleaders into a darkened room to watch a slide show. They saw screen shots of their Facebook pages, obtained without their permission. “You’re thinking, oh my God, this is so embarrassing,” she said. “And they never asked you about any of this.”

HA! Have you ever worked in a real place before? Or maybe poke around Facebook and find the "private" button. Just goes to show how fucking dramatic these women are. They never asked you to access your public facebook profile? OK, Hunny.

So take your stupid fuckin pom-poms and get the fuck out of my face. We got the drumline hardasses now!

Update: Cleveland is the most sensitive city in the world!

So how was everyone's night? I guess sometimes you go to bed, wake up and have the city of Cleveland appalled that you would go as far as to say that their season is over. Yeah, I get it the Bills aren't exactly the 1972 Dolphins this year. But it's not like I was saying that the Bills are better than the Browns. I'm just dancing on your grave. Get over it.

And I love Johnny Football. How can you not? The entire point of the original blog was pointing out how AWFUL Brian Hoyer is. 

Now as far as SC_Cleveland goes... I'll start with this. Guy knows his shit. Loves Cleveland sports and is an awesome writer. I respect that. 

But THIS is what makes them the most thin-skinned people out there:

To tweet #1 about not making the playoffs - thanks for the info. Wasn't aware. But we also mopped the floor with the Browns this year, so I don't get what you're trying to prove. It's like two midgets arguing over who's taller.

To tweet #2.... Did a little research.

In the last decade the Bills/Browns are 4-4. Nailed it!

PS. What is this guy trying to say? Is he on my side? I hope so, because I'm well aware of how awesome Kyle Orton is. 

Boobie Dixon is the happiest dude on the planet

Do I know why Boobie D is the happiest guy on Earth all the time? Nope. Do I care? Nope.

A video posted by @boobiedixon on Dec 12, 2014 at 6:34pm PST

Just check out Boobies whip when he got snowed in a couple weeks ago (from Instagram)

Dude just loves life, Popeys Chicken, Budweiser, football and bad bitches. Can't go wrong there. Won't go wrong there. I'm sure there are a lot of good guys in the NFL but the problem is that you only hear from the loudmouth assholes for the most part. Need more guys that ACT like Boobie D. Because you ain't finding another guy like this.

Long Live Boobie D!

Florida Panthers are a scumbag organization that will fold in the next 5 years

From ProHockeyTalk.com:

The video interspersed scenes from Buffalo’s recent major snowstorm with those of the Panthers’ mascot fishing and doing other activities outside in the South Florida sun.

Pegula, who lives in Palm Beach County and recently purchased the Bills, was incensed as he spoke with Tallon about the video.

Over a dozen deaths were blamed on the massive snowstorm that crippled parts of the Buffalo area last month.

“People died in that storm,” Pegula was overheard saying to Tallon. “That’s not funny.”

I guess when your're a dumpster-fire of a team full of scumbags for literally your entire existence (0 playoff series wins), you have to expect that to trickle down throughout the entire organization. I guess when your players are terrible, your  fans are terrible, and no one cares about whether or not your team disappeared from the face of the earth - your media team doesn't really have any rules. The years upon years of ineptitude and swirling down the toilet bowl that is your arena have finally taken their toll. 

The Florida Panthers will not and should not be an organization in 5 years. Don't believe me? Think that this scumbag organization making fun of a tragedy has swayed my opinion? Lets look at the numbers:

YOU'RE NOT EVEN AVERAGING 9,000 FANS PER GAME. For a comparison, the Hershey Bears are averaging over 9,000 fans per game. The Rochester Americans average 7,000. 

I guess that's the good news part of this entire story for the Panthers. You can basically put whatever you want on the jumbotron in Florida, because no one will see it. Unlucky for the Panthers that Terry Pegula actually cares about his team and was in the building for the game.

Go ahead and make the predictable "The Sabres are a bad team!" comments. But then go ahead and look at the Sabres pipeline of players that they have coming up. Look at any hockey websites rankings and tell me where the Sabres are on that list. #1.

So Florida - go ahead and make fun of people dying in a storm. As a matter of fact, go ahead and show boners on your jumbotron for the next five years - no one cares, and no one will see it. Good job, good effort. Now get the fuck out of my face and back into the garbage where you belong. 

The Buffalo Bills Have The Worst Offensive Coordinator In The NFL

Well if I were to tell you this morning that #18 in Denver was going to throw the ball 57 times, no big surprise. Unfortunately that #18 is Kyle Orton and he plays for the Buffalo Bills. I get that the team was losing 21-3 after the Broncos scored on their first possession of the 3rd quarter, but you HAVE to trust your defense and running backs more than that.

 You know who Kyle Orton is. He's not Peyton fucking Manning. He's probably hungover. He should never throw the ball FIFTY SEVEN times in a football game.

To all of the conspiracy theorists out there saying the referees were happy the Broncos scored, find a gun and shoot yourself. The refs were AWFUL in this game, but this is obviously two refs working together to get the correct call and fist bumping (like nerds) after they got it right. The Bills shot themselves in the foot too many times this week and the game was lost there.

Now to get to what I've been waiting for all year...

Nathaniel Hackett. You mother fucker. You are without a doubt the least qualified, unimpressive, biggest fucking moron that has the ability to call themselves an NFL Offensive Coordinator. If this fucking asshole isn't fired at the end of the year, I don't know what to think about the management of this team. I've always been a fan of Doug Whaley but you need to know when to cut your losses. Hackett is clearly in way above his head in this league. Countless bone headed decisions, not finding ways to get your franchise's best player the ball in half of the games this year. NATHANIEL HACKETT YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF.

That felt good.

Oh by the way, Kyle, when its 3rd down and short and you're scrambling towards the first down marker, please feel free to not slide a yard short. Just something to maybe take note of and try to build on next week.

Next up: Aaron Rodgers! Fuck me.

The Cleveland Browns Are Dead

The Cleveland Mother Fuckin Browns! Proving to everyone once again that no matter how many games you can luck out and win, eventually you get put in your place.

Anyone with a brain can see that this team wasn't good. They had an easy schedule to start the season and they were BARELY beating bad teams. The Browns to date have 2 good wins; one against Pittsburgh and one against Cincy. Just look back at their schedule.

Onto Mr. Hoyer. Ohhh Brian. So close, yet so far to being a capable NFL QB. You had everyone fooled through 8 games. And then this happened..

Hell of a line you got there, pal!



RIP Cleveland Browns playoff hopes
9/7/14 - 12/7/14

Familiar territory.... Sabres get blown out by the Lightning

Well didn't see that one coming! Yikes that one was over as soon as it started. But that really is the story of the season with this team. You'll know 5 minutes in whether they are going to be competitive. Like I've said before, you can't just turn the effort on and off from game to game if you want to be a good team. Clearly that isn't the case with an out-manned 2014/15 Sabres roster. 

What I did like to see was the two young defenseman Zadorov and Ristolainen to continue to play together, while Myers played a lot of productive minutes on the ice.

Prepare yourself for some shocking news... Mike Weber was terrible. But that's OK this year. This is about playing together and getting experience for the young players. It's just awful to watch. 

Look for the Sabres to play a competitive game against an equally shitty Florida Panthers team on Saturday. BATTLE OF THE BASEMENT. TICKETS ON SALE NOW!

Man arrested after trying to stab someone with a bayonet he kept in his car

WEST SENECA, NY-- A man from West Valley is accused of injuring a motorist with a bayonet following an accident. New York State Police say they were called to the I-90 near Route 219, November 28 for a report of two males fighting. Troopers say Bryan D. Cirbus had side-swiped another vehicle as Cirbus was trying to merge onto the I-90 from the 219. Investigators say when the two men exited their cars, an altercation ensued with Cirbus using a bayonet against the other driver. Cirbus was subdued by his female passenger and they left the scene. The other motorist suffered lacerations to his face and hands. 

Ahhh, yes. Nothing like a good traffic incident-turned death threat with a 19th century weapon. Look - I get why the guy who was sideswiped by our civil war soldier here was mad. Dude just ruined your entire day. Call the cops, insurance company, get the car fixed. Its the WORST. But you NEED to have a better sense of who you're dealing with.

It doesnt say in the story, but I have to assume Bryan was driving some sort of pick up truck. You don't have a Bayonet and not drive a truck. Fact. You know it's not your fault man. Just let Bryan yell until he can't anymore and wait for the cops to come. I'm not going to sit here and act like I'm some sort of bayonet-wielding psycho expert, but what I do know is that you don't yell at him. Day one stuff really.

Bills vs. Broncos Preview

This guy. This fucking guy. This soccer dad with an average arm who has been terrorizing NFL defenses since he started playing in the league 16 years ago. You need to put pressure on Peyton and make him rush his decisions. You know he can drop a ball wherever it needs to be whenever he has time to stand back in the pocket.

Enter Mario Williams and co.

48 sacks in 12 games. Arguably the best front 4 in the NFL. (Please pay Jerry Hughes). They need to show up and move Peyton off his spot.

Linebackers

Are they the most talented group in the NFL? No. Can you get into the playoffs with this group? Yes. Bradham and the rookie Preston Brown have 85 and 90 tackles respectively. The most disappointing player so far has been Brandon Spikes. They need to control CJ Anderson (can't believe I actually wrote that).

Defensive Backs

This has been a little controversial throughout the season, because I think the passing stats against are a little misleading due to the D-Line. Are the passing yards against horrible? No. But as I said a lot of that is due to the QB being consistently pressured. If you watched Stephon Gilmore at all this year you can see that he just hasn't played up to his first round draft pick. He can't stick with any WR and he just isn't a true lock down corner.

Offense

Kyle Orton returning to Denver where he absolutely killed it as a player! Woo! Just kidding he just crushed Jack Daniels and was replaced by Tim Tebow.

Talk about a Murderers' Row of quarterbacks


Runningbacks

Freddie is going to be Freddie. Going to run hard and make every other 33 year old man think they are out of shape. Bryce Brown (poor man's Lesean McCoy) is a nice change of pace back and Boobie will try to kill every defender he runs into. No surprises here.

O-Line

CAN YOU PLEASE BLOCK VON MILLER? This is where the game can be won or lost. You know Orton needs time back there. News Flash - He's not Aaron Rodgers.

Wide Receivers

You know that they'll know where Sammy will be on every single play. But you need to try to get him the ball in other ways. Sweeps, screens, slants. They all get the ball in his hands with relative ease and we have all seen that he can make plays. I have a confession to make. I have a crush on Robert Woods. He's cocky when he's on the field and he always makes big plays when he gets the chance. A very underrated player who is finally getting his chance with all of the attention on Sammy every game.



Final Score

Bills 31
Broncos 27

Bills End Toronto Series... And it took 5 years

What a bummer! Really sucks for the 400 fans from Toronto that came out for the game once a year. Can't believe the Bills wont be losing a home game once a year that you might as well chalk up as a loss before the game is even played - thanks for the OT fumble, Scott!

Nah I'm not bitter.

Hopefully this is the sign of the start to a new era of Bills Football. And by new era I mean at least 1 playoff appearance per decade. Let's start there.

This is the perfect analogy to sum up the past few years of incompetence in Buffalo. The thought process was as follows:

1. We have one of the best home field advantages in the League
2. Play less games at The Ralph

1. There is a possibility of the franchise moving to a larger city in a country where the League is dying to grab a part of the market
2. Let's play there

Once again, thank you Terry Pegula. Who by the way gives the funniest interviews you'll hear from an NFL owner. It's like hes talking to his buddy at dinner but instead of his buddy it's America. No script, no idea where the conversation is going to go. Perfect.

Someone Just Crushed A Buffalo Christmas Lights Show

You like Christmas and Buffalo sports dude? Good lord I can't even imagine the time this poor guy wasted to make a god damn laser light show out of his house. Neighbors have to be thrilled.

PS. Can the Sabres please use that song again? No one wants to listen to Seven Nation Army and grunge music while the players come out.

Zemgus Girgensons is leading the NHL All-Star voting, the Sabres have won 6 of 7, is this Earth?

Best team in the NHL! Hottest team in the league! STANLEY CUP HERE WE COME! Not really. But this is awesome to see. If you want to really rebuild like the Sabres are committed to you can't just turn the effort on and off from night to night.

Over the past 7 games they have beat Montreal twice in a home and home, Tampa who is at the top of the league standings, Toronto - a heated rivalry, San Jose a really good team who literally can not win in Buffalo, and the Capitals with one of the best offensive players in the league.

Girgensons is currently leading the NHL All-Star voting with about 400,000 votes. For comparison Sidney Crosby has about 200,000. Granted that is probably due to the fact that the entire country of Latvia has nothing else to do, but the point remains.

This team is really showing some potential and something to look forward to in the next couple of years. Add to that the best prospect pool in the NHL and 3 first round and 2 second round picks this year. If you're STILL one of the Negative Nancy's who has nothing but typical Buffalo shit to say about where the franchise is headed then please feel free to comment and let me know why.

STANLEY CUP HERE WE COME (in like 5 years)

UB Football Hires Leipold

For those of you who don't live and breathe Division 3 Wisconsin football, Lance Leipold is a name you'll soon know very well. Leipold is the now former coach of Division 3 Wisconsin-Whitewater, with a mere record of 106-6 and 5 National Championships in 8 years. Let me say that again. ONE HUNDRED SIX and fucking SIX. FIVE national championships in EIGHT years.

UB has shown that they can recruit players who are over looked by other D-1's and the MAC is now much more appealing with the weekday games that are aired nationally. With a big swinging dick resume that Leipold has it's hard to imagine any other candidates coming in and feeling as satisfied and excited as UB alumni and fans have to feel.

And if you don't like it look on the bright side.... You're not UAB Football (RIP).

Buffalo "Big 4" almost burn down First Niagara Center wearing Buffalo Braves themed Jerseys

Boring stuff first: St Bonaventure won the early game vs. Niagara, UB won the late game vs. Canisus.

Now this is a tradition I can get down with. Look good play good! (Unless you're Canisus or Niagara... then look good, play bad).


Rankings:

1st - St. Bonaventure. Classic Braves jersey. B logo still there. Awesome.

 2nd - Canisus. The "Tar Heel blue" is always a winner. Too bad the team is not.

 3rd - Niagara. Kind of plain, but at least the jersey layout was the same as the Braves. Makes sense given the occasion.

4th - UB. I mean they aren't terrible but given the competition you need to come up with something different than that. The whole "New York" State university branding is weird. Be proud of Buffalo and don't try to brand yourself something that you're not.

Tyler Ennis is an absolute sicko

(I don't think these videos play on a mobile phone but just google it) What else can you say? If you watch this dude play you can see how much talent he has. He'll be a guy who will be here for a long time and you can look forward to more of that and this:

Kyle Orton plays a good second half to key the bills in the most boring game of the NFL Week

Nothing like a 3-0 half time deficit to get you excited for the second half! Jesus Christ that was brutal. Did the Bills win? Yes. Did they go 2-10 on third down and start 0-8? Yes. Did Kyle Orton pack a victory lipper on the same exact sideline Jim Kelly used to which contributed to his current cancer situation? Yes.

The play calling this week was questionable to say the least, which has been the case all year. Hey, here's an idea, every single time it is 3rd and 3 or 4 yards, don't try to throw a 40 yard bomb to Marquise Goodwin. Maybe try to mix in Sammy Watkins. I can overlook the 3rd and 6 draw given that they were clearly planning to go for it on 4th and just trying to make it more manageable.

Couple of quick notes

Jim Kelly wearing Darryl Talley's uni to lead the charge was awesome:

Drumline Badass:

Eric Wood still looking exactly like the kid from Bad Santa:

Robert Woods continuing to be completely underrated:

Jerry Hughes this offseason:

And by the way, as much of a dickhead as Donte Whitner is, Joe Haden is the exact opposite. Humble dude and a lock-down top 3 corner in the league. Hot wife with a huge ass.

I am just as excited as any Bills fan can be or has been after week 13 in like 20 years. But I am also looking ahead at Peyton Manning, Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady to finish the season. Of course the win is awesome, especially when it comes against a geographically and philosophically  almost identical team like the Browns. But if the Bills want to sneak into the playoffs, they're going to have to earn it.